Have you ever found yourself saying “Why do I keep procrastinating?”
This is a story about showing off what makes you happy. As a Life Coach, you may think this should be easy for me… However, like everyone else, I too am still on my own journey of self discovery (practising the process of “walking the talk”). For those of you who are familiar with my book ‘Defining Moments – Reclaim Your Power & Live The Life You Love‘ will not be surprised by what follows.
I am committed to keep expanding on the answer to the question I asked myself as a teenager: “How come that, although I seem to have so much in my life, I am unhappy?” I am pleased to report that I have found the answer to my original question through my work and life experiences, my training to become a Life Coach and Mentor and the participation in the Personal Growth Training & Development Industry.
However, personal growth never stops, there is always the next level of effectiveness and fulfilment. I acknowledge that, despite the lessons learnt and the personal growth, there are times when I procrastinate, put things off and I am not as productive as I would like to be.
Does this resonate with you too?!
There is often no consistency between what we say we want and the actions we take. It reminds me of Einstein’s definition of “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. Or that we attend course after course with the hope that we will improve, but that does not always happen.
There is of course nothing wrong with attending courses, however, how often do we monitor the ROI on the quality of our life? Do we quantify the difference that the extra learning has made?
My recent experience from participating in a business mentoring programme inspired me to write this blog.
I decided to complete the programme because of my commitment to expand my business and increase my level of visibility, both online and offline by contributing to individuals and communities through coaching and mentoring.
Recognising the problem
I find quite embarrassing and frustrating to accept that, despite my good intentions, I found myself resisting and procrastinating when required to tackle the various tasks the mentor asked me to complete.
I therefore decided to ask my familiar questions:
“What is in the background that I am currently not aware of and that could be causing my resistance?”
“How come I am procrastinating and not making full use of the tools which, if used, could produce the results that would give me joy and satisfaction?”
Letting go of resistance and procrastination
So, I went to work on the method I share in my book, ‘Defining Moments, Reclaim Your Power & Live The Life You Love‘, and considered my underlying fears and hesitations with the intention of discovering what could be the root cause of my procrastination habit.
Suddenly, from nowhere, a memory comes in my mind, it seems as though I am transported back…
I am six years old. It is a beautiful, sunny Sunday morning, I am in my small medieval village going to church with my sister, people say hello, are happy and friendly, there is in an atmosphere of joy and celebration. I am very happy because I am not only wearing one of my favourite dresses, but I am wearing a new pair of white nickers with red and blue spots – rather than the hand-down from my sister…
Skipping and jumping up and down, and lifting my dress, I want people to notice my new knickers, it’s so wonderful to show something that makes me happy!
The shattered innocence!
But as I go up the road, a huge, fat menacing lady wearing a black dress comes towards me… pointing her finger saying: “You should be ashamed of yourself showing off like that…“
I freeze, I step back, I look at her frightened and say to myself: “It is dangerous to show people what makes me happy…. I will never do this again!“
The process of archiving the limiting belief!
I have no recollection of what happened next. Maybe I am still holding on to the promise I made to myself that day…
“I will never do this again.”
Therefore, is it possible that the decision I made back than, as an innocent child, is still impacting me today as an adult?
Impact of the new discovery
I cannot answer the question with certainty, what I can say though is that by uncovering this Defining Moment and becoming aware of its possible impact, it has shown me a new way to consider my resistance to taking risks.
I know that at the time, I may have believed that sharing what makes me happy could be ‘dangerous’. But I do know now, that this it is not the truth. This is part of the fascinating process I have discovered and described in my book.
This latest Defining Moment is one that I had not worked on yet!
I now know I have a choice
I can now choose to leave things as they are or expand my level of sharing by taking risks and let go of the resistance.
I am promising myself to remain alert and ensure that the old habit of not sharing because of the subconscious fear that of being ‘told off’ or not being approved of, is replaced by sharing with others the things that do give me joy.
I do know that I have control and freedom over my actions and I will share things that make me happy, because I can!
If you are happy and have no real issues, I would say, good for you and keep doing what you are doing. However, if there is something that is holding you back or that frustrates you or, in some way disempowers you, I invite you to give me a call.
Life Coach, Mentor and Procrastination Smasher!